Wake Me Up, When September Ends

I apologize to those people who are like me. To those who check up on the blogs they enjoy reading on an almost daily basis to see if there is finally a new post. I'm sorry for taking so long and for making you wait. It's been a weird month. I decided since there had been so many occurances take place, that I would let you all know in point form. Forgive me.

1. We went up to Penticton towards the end of August to visit a few of our friends up there. It was a fast trip, but awesome. We surprised Dan, rubbed Becky's belly, watched the kids enjoy Casey & Tera's slip and slide, and many other fun things. We truly wish we were able to take more trips like this. Hopefully next summer will be filled with Okanagan visits.

2. Jericho started preschool two weeks ago. His orientation was okay, most of the time he preferred to play with the toys and didn't appreciate 'carpet time' until he played some of the games. His first full day, he cried as I left him. I knew the best thing for him would be for me to just leave, so I did. As I strapped Kai into his seat, I could no longer hear Jericho so as the morning progressed I was just hoping he was having fun. Every day since then has gotten better. He looks forward to it and wakes up early on preschool days to ask "are we going to preschool now?"

3. Jericho says more and more funny things everyday. We were at the library one night and he was being quite a bit louder than I thought was acceptable, so I told him to be quiet. He wanted to know who was sleeping. He also likes to pretend to make soup and serves it to us and tonight he told Nate that it was Elephant Soup. When Nate asked what was in the soup, he said, "Alligator." He's also LOVING playing hide and seek. He'll ask us to hide while he counts and we usually try and make it difficult, but call out to him if he's having trouble. As soon as he finds us, he screams with laughter and then right away says, "Okay, now I hide and you come find me!" Which usually means that he's going to run into the corner in his room and lay on his stomach so WE can't see him. He makes me laugh all the time.

4. Kai is talking up a storm! He doesn't always make sense, but if I guess right, he will smile and say "Uh huh!" He's very good at putting his dishes away right after meals and basically cleaning any sort of mess. He'll say, "Keen UP!" Trains are still one of his favorite toys and it's hilarious to watch him play with the tracks. He'll let the motorized one run on a certain part, then pick it up, move it to another area and let it go a little bit more. It's annoying to him when it travels out of reach so he tries to control where it will go. He almost has all his teeth too! There are a few more coming in, but he's been pretty happy lately so you can't tell.

5. The most difficult part of my life happened during my small hiatus as well. I have a very close-knit family and we lost one of our own on September 11th. Rebekah had been very sick this summer, but no one had any idea that it was as serious as it turned out to be. I've thought a lot about her and what she meant to me and it's still painful to realize she's not around anymore. Some days I'm still in shock, and some days I think of her fondly. I guess I'm really struggling right now with aftershocks. Where do I go from here? How can I ensure that her death was not in vain? What decisions can I make, not only for me and my family, but for others who maybe don't have as loud a voice? I have lots of questions... I was talking to Nate about how I've known people who have passed away before and I've just never been affected as much as I am now. I've seen brevity, I've felt tragedy and heartache. Her funeral was good and it did remind me to be glad as she is in heaven now, but I wasn't ready for her to be there yet.

6. Nate and I decided to go away for the weekend, the day after the funeral. We had been planning it for awhile, but with everything that had happened I wasn't sure it was a good idea. It turned out to be a great decision. I had an awesome weekend with good people who reminded me to smile, not to forget necessarily, but Rebekah would have wanted me to enjoy myself, and I did. We went on a one night cruise from Seattle to Vancouver and spent a night in Seattle before we got on board. I laughed a lot and it was good. The kids were very well looked after and I know I made the right decision to go.

This week I've done a lot of thinking. I know I'm very blessed and extremely fortunate to have ended up with my family, my husband and my children. Because I've seen brevity and felt tragedy to this extent, I thought that maybe I should stop taking them all for granted. Maybe I should take moments and savour them. Maybe I should take all the hugs and kisses I can gather because I don't know when my time is up too.